12:42 - 23rd April 2013, by NEO Staff

Flash Legs Kung Fu Wonder Child Attack Of The Joyful Goddess

Ah, Kung Fu. One of Asian cinema's most internationally established genres. A filmic style which has created a distinct division across the movie-watching public; those that believe it to be nothing more than grown men jumping around, those that have never seen a movie, and those that have vast collections of unknown tales (generally on VHS). This month, 55th Chamber continues its mission to increase those collections.

Flash Legs chronicles one undercover cop's mission to find eight thieves, who break into a government official's house and steal a map that leads to a priceless treasure. Eager to pursue the bounty, the group bicker over what to do next. The leader of the group, Yang, explains they must wait at least three years, so as to avoid being trailed by the police. Unable to trust their leader entirely, the thieves agree so long as the map is divided between them. When one of the group is arrested years later, a piece of the map is found in his possession. Posing as a criminal, Officer Fong-Yi sets out to retrieve the rest of the map. It may sound like a tedious bore (one guy runs off and confronts each enemy one-at-a-time, in similar fashion to a scrolling video game) but the fights are both lavish and thrilling.

Kung Fu Wonder Child is the most recent of this month's releases. It's an effects-laden fantasy tale of adventure and vengeance. After a young maiden's sister and father are killed by an evil priest, she must team up with the Wonder Child and his grandfather to defeat an army of darkness. Sure, it's got a title theme similar to that of Saturday morning TV, and a hopping vampire zombie that sounds like Marlon Brando, but it's still a thrashing romp with everything we've come to expect from the genre.

Unfortunately Attack Of The Joyful Goddess is not only the most obscure of the three, it's also the weakest; detailing the story of an acting troupe's superstitions and their perfidious theatre manager. The camera work is especially bad, as is the soundtrack, which closely resembles a five-year-old banging pots and pans together. Cheesy dialogue is one thing, but when the accents slip from English to American to Russian to some weird Nute Gunray thing, it becomes too much. An all-round disappointment.

3/5 Flash Legs 3/5 Kung Fu Wonder Child 1/5 Attack Of The Joyful Goddess
SCORE: 0/5
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